Banrock Station - unwooded Chardonnay

Origin: Australia
Price: $12.95 (1L)
Vintage: 2009
Date drunk: April 17th, 2010

d.: It's not bad... whoa! It had a delayed shudder-making effect on me.

g.: I don't even know what to say. I'm at the point where we've had so many different wines that I don't even know what's going on anymore. What does a Chardonnay taste like? I don't know? Really. I do know, however, that unoaked or unwooded things usually taste kind of "big" or oily or something. This doesn't have much of that, but there's something slightly different about it.

d.: It tastes green. It's very fresh, and almost not quite ripe tasting.

g.: That's exactly it. There's a little undertone of "raw" to it or something, and it's almost kind of... soapy. Like cilantro can be. It's not a negative thing, though. I'd say that for an unoaked wine, this is super subtle. Not like that box of Naked Grape we got over Christmas...

d.: It has a very mouth-filling taste. It kind of soaks into your tongue and gets all friendly-like with your taste buds.

g.: What's our verdict?

d.: I think it's decent.

g.: Yeah, I'm feeling it. I might get this again. I mean... it's a litre carton, so those are some automatic points right there. Thumbs up, I suppose.

XOXO - Pinot Grigio/Chardonnay

Origin: Canada
Price: $9.95
Vintage: n/a
Date drunk: April 1st, 2010

g.: Ooh, it smells like... fruit.

d.: *sip* .... inoffensive. It's kind of bland and ho hum.

g.: But this is kind of dangerous because I think I could just mindlessly drink this really quickly without even noticing. I like that kind of wine sometimes. Good bet for an easy drink. Also for when you have a 30 page paper due in a week.
SIP SIP SIP SIP GONE

d.: It's a reasonably tasty wine, but it doesn't elicit any real Reaction.

g.: I don't want Reaction when I'm crying into my glass. I want Efficient.

KWV - Chenin Blanc

Origin: South Africa
Price: $7.95
Vintage: 2009
Date drunk: April 1st, 2010

g.: It tastes like warm. No, it tastes like wood.

d.: Warm wood?

g.: It's really acidic. When I smelled it I thought it smelled like vinegar--this seemed to be accurate. It's not necessarily bad, just kind of rough. On the esophagus.

d.: It's pretty mellow. If one could call something so acidic mellow in any reasonable capacity. Not that my capaciousness is all that reasonable.

g.: CAPACIOUSNESS. We have a wicked vocabulary for a couple of drunks.

d.: And sometimes we even use it correctly.


[POST-SCRIPT: Upon typing this up, we became unsure if we were even drinking the same wine here. Consider us... unreliable narrators.]

Copper Moon - Moonlight Harvest - Pinot Grigio

Origin: "Canada"
Price: $9.45
Vintage: n/a
Date drunk: March 12th, 2010

d.: It's not bad. It's kind of lifeless.

g.: There's not really much to it.

d.: It's a pleasant enough flavour.

g.: It kind of smells like barns, but it tastes like a really mild, if slightly acidic, plain white wine. I can't even say if this actually tastes like a Pinot Grigio or not. It's really cheap (we got this on sale for $7.95), so I'd say this isn't a bad deal.

d.: It's a simple straightforward wine--a work horse of a wine.

g.: If this were on sale again and I only had $7.95, I would totally get this. It's way better than some of the junk I used to buy as a barely employed undergrad.

Pierre Sparr - Gewürztraminer

Origin: France
Price: $16.50
Vintage: 2008
Date drunk: March 12th, 2010

g.: *sip* I'm a little worried.

d.: ah uhh umm. oh my. [unintelligible].

g.: It's really sour. It almost tastes like it's gone bad. which yes, I know, is the point of wine to begin with. But this is more like... grape yogurt in the back of the fridge, long forgotten.

d.: I think it tastes like they accidentally used decorative soap grapes instead of real ones.

g.: Those exist. I think my mom probably had some. Okay, overall it isn't bad. I think some of the underlying flavours are really nice, but there's that hint of sour/soapy that's really throwing me off. I have the feeling this particular characteristic is something I'm actually supposed to appreciate, but maybe it's an acquired taste. Like... bar soap.

d.: Bar soap is pretty tasty. Jergens is best. This wine, I think there's too much going on in the taste. And it's not necessarily complementary stuff.

g.: I don't know what you mean. I heartily enjoy a combo of rotten yogurt gummy worms and Jergens. Okay, that was too mean. This is definitely not that horrifying. I'm just... concerned.

d.: It seems to be getting better with subsequent sips. The harsher notes are softening.

g.: This means we have to drink it all right now as fast as we can, while it's still good. Go go go.

... meanwhile, d. is finished and I am halfway through my first glass. Aaaand I still taste soap. The time is not right.

d.: The time is always right for a soap wine party!

g.: Conclusion: we've done FAR worse (see: Marqués de Riscal), but we've also done better and for cheaper. This wine is probably not bad, we just don't like the elements of... whatever it is. Buy at your own risk, etc.