Wherein we talk about wine when we're drunk.

We like to drink wine. We also like to write; we aren't, however, experts in writing about drinking wine. We don't know any fancy things about legs and noses and bouquets and, you know, wine jargon. We own some wine glasses, though. They're nice ones. Thin and classy ones that you can make sounds with when you spit on your finger* and run it around the edge.

We're going to talk about the things that are important--the crap that you actually want to know about wine before you buy it. Like, oh, if it tastes like shit. We're going to help you. Trust us.

*D. says he would never spit, because that's unhygienic.