Jackson Triggs - Gewürztraminer

Origin: Ontario
Price: We don't remember. Probably $9.95. At most, $12.
Date drunk: April 18th, 2009

d.: That's alt 129, by the way [re: umlaut]. The smell is soapy, like nice, fancy, fruit soap.

g.: This is a really, really strange tasting wine. It's spicy. The woman at "Wine Rack" said it had a really good balance between sweet and acidic, and I think she was right. She also said a lot of other, complicated things I did not understand, but she was probably right about those too.

d.: This is like, let's say, if a Macintosh apple--not a computer--got all hot and steamy with a lemon, and produced, after the appropriate period of gestation, a mutant baby fruit.

g.: BOW CHICKA BOW WOW
I think this would taste really good with a shot of whiskey dropped into it. I would probably drop dead 30 seconds later, but I bet it would be worth it. Maybe Fireball. Someday, friends. Someday.

d.: I really like the after taste. Actually, I like the whole thing. I like it.

g.: I don't think it's something I'd like to have very often, but it's a satisfying change. I'd probably get this particular one again.

With WHISKEY.

Ciao - Organic Chardonnay

Origin: Italy
Price: $12.85 (1L)
Date drunk: April 9th, 2008

I look at this every single time I'm at the store, because although you can't tell from this photo, the carton is all holographic and shimmery. I also happen to really enjoy purple and green as a combo. Dear Wine Marketing Dudes: you win.

Down to business:

First sip: Ding ding! YES! I wanted to like this so bad, and I do. It's smooth and delicious. It's even way too warm because I'm impatient, and it still gives me virtually no pause . This doesn't taste like a chardonnay. I don't even know what it does taste like. Magic juice, I guess.

More sips: I'm in wine-love. Let's go out somewhere fun, Ciao, and get to know each other a little better. Maybe we'll go hang out on the rocks by the waterfront and talk about how you're a beautiful pale yellow, and that you look really great tonight in those sparkly clothes, and we'll probably work so well together--even though you smell kind of weird. It's okay, that kind of thing doesn't matter to dudes like us. Afterward we can go stumble around downtown, and sit on a roof and yell at cars, because we're better than cars, man.

I gotta go.

Green Rabbit - Organic Merlot

Origin: France
Price: $13.90
Date drunk: April 9th, 2009

The smell!; it starts out bitter, acrid but, when the inhalation is finished and the scent swirls in the nose, the smell richens; the smell is that of, appropriately enough, ripened grapes—like those ones I used to mow around at Vesey's. I'd pull entire bunches off the vine, bite into them, suck out the juice and spit the seeds to the ground as I circled and circled on the Cub Cadet mower that had smoother steering than my car (smoother steering, actually, than anything else I'd ever driven). Those small, thick-skinned grapes were always a welcome treat toward the latter half of the mowing season. I haven't started drinking this yet; I'm still just enjoying the smell, swirling the glass under my nose over and over. I'm revelling in the smell, being all nostalgic for those grapes that grew, intertwined, with the kiwi trees in the arbour beside Arthur's Garden. The smell is so thick; cloyingly sweet. But now: DRINK TIME!

It's bitter—in the way that tobacco, cocoa are bitter. And there are hints of these in the finish of the wine (especially the cocoa). The start is very thin and somewhat harsh, but it levels off and rounds out nicely, though there is no sweetness here, which I tend to find less enjoyable than sweeter wines (or sweeter anything, really; it could be said that I have a sweet tooth [perhaps even several sweet teeth]). It's a smooth drink, though, in spite of its bitterness. And surprisingly refreshing. It's a very a clear tasting wine. There is simply the wine flavour; it hides behind nothing.

I'd wanted to try a wine made from organically grown grapes for a while now (one of my [many] pipe dreams is to eventually make wine from my own organically grown grapes. It's something I've thought about a lot [though not in any practical sense {pipe dream, remember?}] and it combines two things I enjoy [wine and growing things]. It would be great to bring something like that from, literally, the ground up. For myself, really.) and I'm glad I tried this one. It's fresh, clear, smooth and wonderfully bitter.

Voga Italia - Pinot Grigio

Origin: Italy
Price: $13.95
Date drunk: April 3rd, 2009

We bought this wine because:

You know those tiny tubes of perfume samplers? Yeah. That's this. Except in Giant Land. And full of drinkable alcohol.

g.: Now THAT'S better (re: tonight's other wine). This Pinot Grigio has a flavour. It tastes like apples and flowers. I guess this is what people mean when they say a "complex wine"--it's pretty multi-faceted, compared to the other one. The tiny extra bit of sweetness definitely helps. Yup, I think I like this.

d.: Yeah, this is a good wine. It has a nice, fully-fruited flavour. It is a complex wine; it's a good mix of flavours.

g.: I think the difference is, this actually tastes like something besides alcohol, whereas the cheaper--not necessarily monetarily--wines just taste like stale beer or something.

We're learning!

Giovello - Pinot Grigio

Origin: Italy
Price: $13.05
Date drunk: April 3rd, 2009

d.: There's butter in the smell. The taste, it is bland.

g.: Not much sweetness to it. Kind of bitter.

d.: It's a heartburn wine.

g.: There's a little something there--something slightly flavourful and maybe fruity, but it's mainly tingly and acidic. It's not bad, but a little bit flat for me. I like Pinot Grigios a bit less bitter.

d.: It's a warm flavour. It's very simple--not a complex wine.

g.: I can imagine that some people might choose this over something sweeter, but it's not really for me. Wins points for having an awesome indigo blue bottle. Loses points for being $13 and not that good.

d.: I like dragonflies.

Folonari - Pinot Grigio

Origin: Italy
Price: $14.75
Date drunk: March 27th, 2009

d.: It smells like gross meat.

g.: It smells like the fridge. Not that we have gross meat in the fridge, but it kind of smells like fridges do when you live in a house with five people and at least two of them forget about their shitty East Side Mario's leftovers for two weeks.

d.: It doesn't taste like gross fridge meat. It doesn't taste like a Pinot Grigio.

g.: It has the mild flatness of a Pinot Grigio, but it's missing all the interesting floral and fruity elements.

d.: It's not a good wine, it's just a palatable thing.

g.: Barely.

d.: If you don't breathe in through your nose while drinking, it's fine.

La Vieille Ferme - Cotes du Luberon

Origin: France
Price: $11.95
Date drunk: March 27th, 2009

d.: It smells like the ice wine tasted.

g.: Hey, this is good! It doesn't leave any taste in my mouth at all, but when I'm actually sipping it, it tastes interesting and lightly sweet/sour.

d.: When you let it sit in your mouth, there's a lingering full-mouth sourness.

g.: This is really refreshing. I'd probably like this with food. I'd probably like anything with food, though.

d.: The edges of the taste are squared off. It's not a round taste; it's a rectangular prism.

g.: Fancy pants.

Barefoot - Chardonnay

Origin: California
Price: $9.95
Date drunk: March 20th, 2009

g.: Smells much better than the other chardonnay we bought tonight.

d.: Does it smell vanilla-y?

g.: I THINK SO.

d.: It has vanilla in the taste, too!

g.: It's sharper than the other one, or something... it's a lot more present. But it has a lot of sweetness to its flavour. Definitely vanilla.

.... and that's all we wrote. In the end, we liked the Inniskillin much better, and I think that Barefoot does a way better job with their Pinot Grigio. The vanillaness was really interesting, but wasn't enough to make it a favourite.

Inniskillin - Chardonnay

Origin: Ontario
Price: $9.95
Date drunk: March 20th, 2009

d.: It's a very inoffensive taste.

g.: I taste lemons. It smelled pretty bad, but so far it's smooth.

d.: It's a very gentle, subdued flavour.

g.: I guess the moral of this blog is: we don't like wine that tastes like wine.

Also, it has a nice appley after-taste. Pretty mellow for a Chardonnay. Will it hold up? Will I heartily wish for the bottle to be over before I get through the first glass?* We'll see. So far, so good. $9.95 wines, yes.

*Nope. We thought it a pretty decent, tasty wine for $9.95. Not the greatest choice for the price, but we'll be okay.

Gabbiano - Pinot Grigio

Origin: Italy
Price: $12.95
Date drunk: March 14th, 2009

g.: Smells great. A+. Cool colour, light blue bottle. Why does Pinot Grigio always come in a blue bottle? I'll ask the internet later.

*after a drink*

g.: I think it went up my nose. It doesn't taste like it smells; it's kind of weirdly acidic/bitter tasting.

d.: It doesn't taste like wine.

g.: It kind of tastes like weak beer. This is not what I expected from any Pinot Grigio. Maybe it's gone bad? These guys have been making wine since fucking 1124, haven't they figured it out yet? I'm going to call that bad-ass dude on the horse on the bottle and ask.

d.: It makes me think of rubbing alcohol.

I think the relation of quality to price in wine is comparable to a sine curve: the really cheap wine can be pretty tasty but the slightly more expensive stuff? Drop! And the swoop continues. This is still a working theory. More in-depth experimentation is required. This particular wine is unimpressive.

g.: Conclusion: this sucks. It's not bad enough that I won't drink it (COME ON), but I won't be happy about it.

Mezzomondo - Pinot Grigio Chardonnay

Origin: Sicily
Price: $9.85
Date drunk: March 6th, 2009

d.: There's a bit of a zest. A zest that hits right here. *thumps chest*

g.: It definitely smells like fruit. Tasty. It IS tasty. It's a little bit warm and spicy, but it has that sweet smoothness of a Pinot Grigio. The woman working at the liquor store was really excited about the potential of this wine.

I just had another sip, and this time I got a bit more of that sharp Chardonnay flavour, but I think the Pinot Grigio keeps it real.

d.: This is definitely flatter than the other one.

g.: I don't know if it'll hold up as well.

NOTE: It didn't. Not as well as the Eco Trail one, which became more and more magically awesome with every sip.

Pelee Island Eco Trail - Chardonnay

Origin: Ontario
Price: $9.95
Date drunk: March 6th, 2009

g.: I smelled this and my head automatically whipped back sharply.

d.: And you made some sort of frightening sound. It smells like white wine vinegar.

g.: It tastes like wood.

d.: That's because it's ecowine.
I like it. It's not cringe inducing. It has a smooth roundness.

g.: It scared me at first, but it seriously gets better with every sip. The after-taste is pleasant. Cool, thanks The Environment. Also, it talks about frogs and toads on the bottle. I can get behind that.

d.: I taste Granny Smith apples. But in a subtle undertone, not a HOLY SHIT HERE I AM. And it works.

g.: Apparently, I like the taste of wood.
Seriously, the first sip was not good. Now I'm tasting lemons. And awesome. I'll report back on the third glass to confirm if I still like it.

AFTER ALL THE WINE:

IT WAS STILL GOOD.

THE END.

Henry of Pelham Estates - Ice Wine Riesling

Origin: Ontario
Price: $54.95 (375 ml)
Date drunk: March 3rd, 2009

This is some high rolling shit, right here. We were celebrating; don't judge. We've always wanted to try this mysterious ice wine.

g.: It is VERY YELLOW, and very thick. Even when pouring it you can tell how syrupy it is. Wow.

... and WHOA. It's SO SWEET.

d.: It tastes just like really, really sweet grapes.

g.: If you ever wanted to know what ice wine tastes like, I guess this is it. Thick, syrupy, grape juice concentrate. Definitely a dessert wine. It's unbelievable. I can't believe there's booze in here.

d.: It's a very heavy sweetness. It just sinks to the bottom of your belly and sloshes there. Like this: slosh. slosh slosh. slosh slosh sloosh.

g.: It tastes like yellow.


We determined that this is the kind of thing you want to have one tiny glass of and call it a night. Even splitting a little 375 ml bottle was too intense.

Fetzer - Pinot Grigio

Origin: California
Price: $12ish
Date drunk: February 28th, 2009

NOTE: We really like drinking Pinot Grigio, I guess.

g.: It smells delicious. The bottle wasn't lying when it said there was a "bouquet of wildflowers." It was serious business.

On first sip, I actually said, "Yum." It tastes very floral—kind of like green tea.

d.: I like it; it has a very winey wine taste—it's a wine that's not afraid to taste like wine.

After a few glasses:

g.: Okay, this is actually DELIGHTFUL. I can swoosh it around in my mouth and enjoy the flavours, instead of crying and gulping it back as if it were a shot of vodka. Or Great White*

*I do not remember writing this.

Jackson Triggs - Pinot Grigio

Origin: Ontario
Price: $9.95ish
Date drunk: February 28th, 2009

d.: It tastes like water with a bad flavour. It's a very thin taste—it's not very "there."

g.: I know we bought this before, probably at least in the past year, and I know I didn't mind this wine then. Now that we're reviewing it and actually thinking about it, it tastes kind of off. Although in REAL LIFE, I would totally call this drinkable and not bad for under $10.

In Wine Review Land, though, it's kind of bland and uninteresting. Like d. said, it's as if someone poured some wine into a vat of water and called it Jackson Triggs. Don't hate me, JT. You're my fall-back wine. But I could probably find something tastier if I really tried.