La Puerta - Shiraz

Origin: Argentina
Price: $9.95
Vintage: 2008
Date drunk: June 12th, 2009

The smell is good. Very thick and heavy with the slightest hint of cloves. I think it's also the darkest red wine I've ever encountered and become acquainted with. I'm still sniffing; I think I'm sort of frightened—getting to the point of taking the plunge with red wine is worse than diving into cold water. Not really, though. I'm just trying to add—you know—some nice writerly touches. 'Cause I'm a writer, right? Or something like that. I think it's more likely that I was luxuriating in the richness of the aroma. Like when I walk past a house which has a dryer running on a cold winter night. I love that smell. But it's not the same sort of reaction, I suppose. Luxuriation still happens, though. I'm all about smell-luxuriation. BUT! Enough with the preamble, d.; get to THE WINE!

It tastes like I just licked wood. Probably a plank of some sort. Of indeterminate length.¹ Perhaps, as its name suggests, a door (thus, generally, providing a limit to the length of the aforementioned plank [unless, of course, we're in a house that happens to be of leaves]).

Subsequent sips bring out flavours other than wood, which is a nice touch. I appreciate it, anyway. Flavours such as smoked fruit. Perhaps the elusive door-fruit? Perhaps, d., perhaps. Or, maybe you should get with it, and just say it's sort of cherry-like. Or some bitter, acidic fruit. But it also involves an insinuation of cocoa. Which obviously fits in with that whole bitter thing it has going on. This wine would be really good with some 70% or 85% Lindt dark chocolate. Or any other really good, really dark chocolate. On a side note, I want to try Lindt's dark chocolate bar with red chili in it.² But: BACK TO WINE 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE HERE FOR, d.!

TO WRAP UP!:

It's strong, but not unpleasantly so; it's sharp, it's pungent, it's rich; it's really tasty and warms up my insides as only things that are good know how to do. I am a fan of this.

It's hearty and earthy and I want more!





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¹ Minds out of the gutters, folks!

² If you've tried this, please let me know what you think.

Yellow Tail - Rosé

Origin: Australia
Price: $10.95
Vintage: 2008
Date Drunk: June 12th, 2009

Yet another installment of d. Drinks a Red and I Drink a White(ish) Because Red Wine Makes Me Hurl.

Look, I don't even like red wine. I don't know why I keep buying this Rosé crap all the time. This one, in particular, is really red. Too red. I prefer my cheap white/red mixes to be all light and pink and airy and fruity. Christ, maybe I just like wine coolers. Is that so wrong?

A: YES

So, this'll probably be a short one:

First sip: *SHUDDER*

Second sip: Okay, okay. I taste some sort of fruit in there--maybe raspberries or strawberries.

Third sip: I guess I can taste the vanilla. Some kind of comforting dessert-y type flavour, anyway.

There's actually quite a bit going on in this wine for a $11 bottle of Yellow Tail. Despite it's weird bitter mouth-shrinking redness, it's kind of interesting. After a few more sips, it all comes together really nicely, and I have stopped being a hater. I'll drink this with only minor complaints--mostly having to do with always choosing crap I'm predisposed to hating.

(PLUS: 13.5% alcohol. GOOD JOB.)

Lamberti - Pinot Grigio blush

Origin: Italy
Price: $11.95
Vintage: 2008
Date drunk: May 30th, 2009

g.: It tastes exactly how it looks.*

d.: It's almost coppery.

* and this wine looks AMAZING. It's a light pinkish orange.

d.: It looks and tastes very autumnal.

g.: I've never had a rose Pinot Grigio before, and I have to say that this venture is a GREAT SUCCESS. The friendly and knowledgeable cashier at the LCBO was really into this, and said that he often "sits on the web with a bottle, and all of a sudden it's 3AM." That is a serious seal of approval.

d.: It's like drinking juice, it's so clear and smooth.

g.: It's super balanced; not too sweet, not too bitter or acidic. It's so pretty and refreshing and unassuming that I just want to give it a big hug and a warm meal and be its friend forever. I think I would also like a sweater in this colour. Could I dye a white one with wine? I would like to FIND OUT.

Pelee Island - Blanc de Blanc (Vidal/Seyval Blanc mix)

Origin: Ontario
Price: $8.95
Vintage: 2007
Date drunk: May 23rd, 2009

g.: So... it tastes like wine.

d.: It's a very light wine. There's no flavour at the start, and then a little BALOOP of flavour, and then clear. And when the Baloop happens, it's pretty tasty.

g.: I have previously said that this blog was going to be about telling you whether or not a wine is actually drinkable or not. Well, this wine is definitely drinkable. This is a safe bet. We've had two other Seyval Blanc before, both from the Maritimes, and they were smooth, delicious, and pretty much my ULTIMATE WINE. This Seyval Blanc is not quite as good, but it's still an awesome type of wine.

d.: It's a very clear, refreshing wine; there's no harsh after-taste. There's no cringe-inducing swallow-taste. It's a good wine. I'd take it home to meet my mother.

Loios - Alentejano

Origin: Portugal
Price: $9.95
Vintage: 2008
Date drunk: May 23rd, 2009

g.: Oh fucking shit.

d.: While it's not the greatest of wines, I don't know if my reaction is quite so forceful. It's really apple-y. The wine, that is; not my reaction.

g.: *another sip* ... no, I'm still going with "oh fucking shit."

d.: Say you have some sort of hybrid of an apple and gross meat. It smells sort of hammy, so we'll go with ham as the gross meat. Now imagine biting into that apple, not knowing it was hybridised with this gross ham-meat. That is what caused g's reaction (maybe).

g.: No, I think it's because it tastes like grapes and knives, together.

d.: It has a refreshing molar effect, though.

g.: What DOES THAT MEAN.

d.: It feels neat on the molars and wisdom teeth when I let it sit in the back of my mouth.

g.: I don't think there's any chance of me letting it sit in my mouth for long enough to corroborate your claim.

d.: That's what she said.

g.: I'm getting a shot glass.

d.: If you do, I will.

g.: Dear anyone reading this blog: if we don't post next week, I'm probably in the hospital. [UPDATE: I'M NOT IN THE HOSPITAL, DON'T CALL THE POLICE]

d.: Oh, though I can taste the grapes, I have yet to taste the knives.

g.: You're going to want to watch out for that. They'll cut you when you least expect it. Okay, I just took another sip, and it's actually not that awful.

d.: The quality of meatness in the flavour seems to diminish the closer to the bottom of the glass I get.

g.: We probably have at least a 2:1 wine to meat ratio on this blog right about now. The only thing we can come up with to describe wine is pork or ham, and we're fucking vegetarians.

d.: I actually liked this when I took the last sip from the glass. It has a strong (though not necessarily wine-like) flavour that is not altogether unappealing.

g.: NOTE: d. has finished his glass. I have had approximately three sips.