Pierre Sparr Extrēm - Riesling

Origin: France
Price: $14.95
Vintage: 2007
Date drunk: May 15th, 2009

d.: The smell is vomitising, yet the taste.... is magical. It's really smooth and mellow.

g.: I think it tastes like grass, but this is a good thing, absolutely. It's refreshing. Really delicious.

d.: It seems like a pretty acidic wine.

g.: I agree--the acidity gives it a weird sharpness at the beginning, but it becomes this glorious explosion of flavours in your mouth. The after-taste is pretty amazing. It lingers and it is actually welcome to do so.

d.: It's a wine taste that comes in, crashes on the tooth couch, and hangs out for awhile.

g.: I could really imagine drinking this on a porch on a bright sunny day.

d.: It's really readily drinkable; it's sippable, slurpable, and chuggable.

g.: I feel bad for rejecting this wine at the store every weekend because the label described it as "dry"--it's a bit dry, but the flavours balance it out.

Fazi Battaglia - Verdicchio

Origin: Italy
Price: $10.95
Vintage: 2007
Date drunk: May 15th, 2009

g.: I taste turpentine. It's not bad, though. Does this mean I can now successfully drink turpentine? Please say yes.

d.: Coming out of this beer imposed retirement, I'm having difficulties. It has a watery commencement. And one damn BLANG of a terminus. It's more bitter than sour, I find, the taste-finish that is.

g.: We bought this for the bottle and the mini-scroll that came with it, honestly. We are doing the world (i.e. our home decor) a service by draining this bottle and using it in an appropriate manner. This might mean sticking a dead flower in it.

d.: The scroll has a map on it. That's worth at least $10 of the admission price. It's a really nice map. It has embossing, and gold leaf.

g.: I agree.

d.: It's not a very good wine, let's be honest.

g.: I really don't even know. It might be great and my plebe taste-buds aren't sophisticated enough to know it. I LIVE A SHELTERED LIFE, tucked away from wines that have many syllables and turpentine after-tastes.

d.: Turpentine is definitely a sign of high class wine.

g.: You should write a book and name it that.

d.: I find that the harshness of it diminishes. It's not a bad wine; it's just not great.

Fat Bastard - Chardonnay

Origin: France
Price: $14.95
Date drunk: April 25th, 2009

g.: It's really crisp and lemony.

d.: It's very smooth and clear. It has a nice smoky whisper, at the swallow-moment.

g.: So like bacon. Bacon wine. Or hickory-stick wine. Or wine on fire. Can we try wine on fire?* I can't think of much to say about this, because I started drinking it early by accident, and I ruined my first-sip analysis. Goddamn.

* Wine on fire with a shot of whiskey dropped in it.

d.: It's a good chardonnay. It starts clear, moves through a square of sour, and finishes clear. It's like a circle. A circle of clarity.

g.: I don't know anything about wine shapes. I need to upgrade to Wine Geometry 101. I feel like this might taste like a rhombus, though. Or a decahedron. Probably a decahedron. Or bacon.**

** d. does not want to give the wrong impression. He stresses that the wine is actually good. It is. It's true.

(g.: I almost wish that I could scan the hard copy of this entry from our wine journal. It looks completely bananas.)

Cave Spring - Rosé

Origin: Ontario
Price: $12.95
Date drunk: April 25th, 2009

g.: It doesn't really taste like... anything.

d.: It has that "make your teeth feel weird" thing going on, though. There's a bitterness at the centre of the taste; it's not at the beginning, and then it appears and it's gone before you finish.

g.: I don't even know what to say about it. It tastes like a Rosé, but other from that... I don't know. It's a bit too much on the red-tasting side for me, though. I'd probably prefer if it were sweeter and fruitier. Maybe I'm confusing Rosé with White Zinfandel.
Dear Readers,
I don't actually know anything about wine. The internet will tell me later.
Love,
Used to Drink Great White

d.: It seems almost like there is a cherry flavour at the end of the taste. And I don't like cherries.